The end of the life you know
by PailyLoveJB
Summary: This story is about the relationship between Lindsey and Shay and what can happen if things go how they aren't supposed to.
1. Chapter 1

*29/04/2014*

'Great day on set! you were on roll! Don't you think the fans will love it?' Lindsey said enthusiastic when we came back in my dressing room.  
'mhh.. I guess so..' I answered while being with my mind somewhere else. 'What's wrong?' Lindsey asked worried. I woke up out of my thoughts and yelled 'I cant do this anymore Lindsey!'

*23/10/2012*

'Guys today we have a new member of the show who we haven't seen for a long time. LINDSEY SHAW' Marlene King (producer of the show) said to us. Hey! Hi! how are you doing? Great to have you back! all kinds of things I heard around me but I wasn't really paying attention to any of it. Today stay started out like normal. but just now I have one big problem on my mind. and I can't let go of it. Why did this had to happen to me? why? I walked to the stairs and sat down. I have to play a scene in half an hour so it doesn't make sense to go to my dressing room. After a few minutes someone set down next to me. I woke up out of my thought. It was Lindsey. 'Hey, good to have you back!' I said while trying to smile and being a little bit enthusiastic. 'Thanks' Lindsey said 'is everything okay? you don't look like you are happy.' 'I'm okay.' I said and trying my best to get a little smile on my face. 'Okay I trust you, you know we have our first scene together in half an hour right? it's going to be intense.'


	2. Chapter 2

*23/10/2012*

I heard a bell ring and I knew this was the time that my scene had to start. I got up from the stears and slowly walk to the room where I had to be for this scene. With what feels like a brick in my stomach I walked to Lindsey and said 'Hi.' Because I knew we would have our scene together. I had learned my parts but I didn't realise it would be between me and Lindsey. I knew I had to kiss someone but I alsos had no idea I had to kiss Lindsey. It gave me a good feeling thinking that later today I would go to the movies with Ryan. He's really sweet to me but for now FOCUS. Here we go. 'Shay are you ready?' I heard Marlene ask me. I was ready to get this behind me and film this scene already. 'Yes!' I answered trying to sound enthusiastic. But the more I thought about it het more enthusiastic I actually became. 'Lindsey, ready?' I heard Marlene ask Lindsey. 'Definetely, let's do this' Lindsey answered while looking at me.

'Okay here we go! Shay sit down on the bed, Lindsey behind the door please. Okay guys here we go. Lights, camera, action!'

(Shay turns into Emily, Lindsey into Paige because Scene)

*knock, knock*

Emily: 'Who's there?'

Paige: 'Can I come in?'

Emily: 'Paige!' Emily jumped up and pulled Paige into a thight hug. 'I missed you so much!'

Paige: 'I missed you too!'

Emily: 'So now you're back, does this mean that you would go on a date with me?'

Paige: 'I would love to! When and what do you wanna do?'

Emily: 'Shall we go to the movie the walking zombie? tommorow evening at 9 PM?'

Paige: 'Omg I love that movie! Yes, let's do that! sounda good. But also because I've got you with me!'

Emily: 'You're to sweet! Come here!' she pulled Paige closer and kissed her passionate.

Paige: 'Em, your parents are downstairs!'

Emily: 'Yeah you're right we have to be safer. but we also have to be careful in the ciniema tommorrow!'

Paige: 'I have to go! I have to get some sleep. I didn't sleep good last night. Bye Em love you!' she gave Emily a kiss on the cheeck and dissapeared out of the door.

'Cut!' Marlene yelled. 'That was amazing girls! first take and immediately good! that's it for you Lindsey you're free to go I'll see you tommorow! Shay I will need you in 2.5 hours. make sure that you are back by then.' 'thanks Marlene!' They both answered while leaving the studio.


	3. Chapter 3

*26/10/2012*

I woke up. it's 6.30 AM... The alarm clock kept buzzing. Yes yes I'm awake. I pushed out the alarm clock and got out.  
I saw Ryan laying next to me. I knew it didn't feel like it used to. I've noticed that before. But I still can't tell him.  
I can't bring myself to tell him. he's too sweet for me. buying me flowers taking me to the movie like old times but I have to tell him soon.  
Right now I have to go. I get up, get ready, give him a kiss on the cheeck, and leave.  
By the time I reach set it's 8.00 AM. Lindsey was already there and I saw her checking me out.. I kinda blushed.  
Lindsey came to me and asked: 'why are you blushing?'  
I looked at her and asked: 'Why are you checking me out?' now she blushed.  
'Touché' She said while smiling. 'Come we have to go play the scene. wait, hold on, you have to change into Emily's clothes.'  
'Go to your dressing room, I'll get your clothes for you.' Lindsey said. 'Okay if you want to.' I said and hugged her as a way of thanking her for getting my clothes.  
I went to my dressing room and on my way I saw Ashley. 'Hey Ash!' I said enthusiastic. She looked around and saw me.  
'Shay!' She came over and hugged me! 'how are you? Haven't seen you in a while.I missed my buttah in my buttahbenzo.' She said. 'I know, I know. But I have to play a scene with Lindsey in a few. you can come watch. let's make a deal. you can choose if you come and watch or not. But whatever you decide to do in a second we have to catch up soon! Maybe lunch together today?' I proposed. 'Deal!' Ashley said and smiled. than her smile dissapeared and she said 'What are you waiting for! go get dressed. I can't wait until lunch for you to play that scene. I have an appointment at lunch!' She laughed. I hugged her and said 'I see you in a bit.' I run to my dressing room because I knew I was late. When I entered my dressing room I saw Lindsey sitting on my couch. 'Where have you been? you're late. now here are your clothes get dressed babe... uhmm I mean Shay.' She blushed 'Did you just said babe to me?' I asked playful. I laughed and gave her a kiss on the cheeck. 'it's okay Lindsey, don't wurry. I'm going to get dressed.' I walked to the bathroom and thought what the hell is wrong with her? why is she acting so weird? whatever. when I got back she sat back on my couch. 'Hey you ready?' I asked. she looked at me and laughed. 'damn, you look good in that outfit. ' she said. I looked at her and blushed 'Really?' I asked. she knodded yes. I laughed. 'Now let's go or Marlene will get really mad.' She took my hand and pulled me with her. I was so nervous for the scene that it gave me stomach ace.I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. that's what I kept repeating to myself in my head. Marlene came and said 'Girls, ready?' 'Yes' Me and Lindsey said at the same time. 'Let's do this!' I said probably a little bit too enthusiastic as I see the faces of Marlene and Lindsey looking at me like I just acted like 10 monkey's. 'guys stop looking at me we have a scene to shoot.' I said to kinda safe myself from this awkward moment.

'Okay, here we go. Light, Camera, Action'

(Shay - Emily, Lindsey - Paige) ( if scene get's interrupted you see Shay:)Emily's POV

I was waiting in the living room. I tried to look hot but I don't think it really worked.

*knock knock*

There Paige is... I suddenly got really nervous.

I opened the door.

Paige: *laughs*

Shay: 'Lindsey you aren't supposed to laugh here you douchebag!' I started to laugh with her.

Marlene: 'Cut. okay girls shake loose. take 1 minute to get ready.'

*1 min. later*

Marlene: 'okay girls, ready?'

Lindsey: 'Yes!'

Shay: 'Yes!'

Marlene: 'Lights, camera, action!'

*knock knock*

I opened the door.

Paige: 'Wowww.' She looked at me from top to bottom and back. 'You look so beautiful em.'

She came to me and hugged me.

Emily:'Thanks Paige, you don't look that bad yourself either.'

Paige: 'let's go beautiful. we don't want to miss the movie.'

Emily: 'Wait let me get my purse.' I got my purse from the couch and we went to the cinema.

the movie was about 20 minutes from start and me and Paige were kissing.

Paige: 'Em I think I really love you.'

Emily: 'Paige, I think I really love you too.'

The movie was finished.

Emily: 'Wanna come to my house? Chill a little bit?' I said while winking.

Paige: 'I'm sorry beautiful but if I don't get home in 10 minutes my dad will get suspicious and you know what he's like.'

Emily: 'yeah I know what he's like. an other time?'

Paige: 'Sure.' Paige gave Emily a kiss and drove away.

Marlene: 'Cut! great girls! the fans will really see the Chemistry! looks good. bye!'

'So that went good.' Lindsey said. 'Yeah, I guess so.' I answered. "Listen, Shay, I was thinking. do you want to go to the cinema with me tonight?' Lindsey asked me nervously. 'Sure I would love to. I'll see you at 8 at the cinema?' I answered. 'Okay, see you then.' Lindsey smiled and she walked away.


	4. Chapter 4

*26/10/2012*

it was 12.00 PM and I heard a knock on my dressing room door. I've been chilling here since I ended the scene with Lindsey. I noticed I fell asleep for an hour. With a cracky voice I said 'Come in.' 'Hey, Shay! Ready for lunch?' Ashley came in. 'Omg did you just woke up.' she asked. 'Kinda.' I said. 'Can we just stay here for another hour and go have lunch at 1PM?' I asked because I really needed time to get ready and be chilled. 'Sure! we can listen some music and talk? or whatever you want to do. Just tell what you want to do.' She answered. ' mhh... Maybe we can do a Ustream? just give me 10 minutes to look normal.' I said. 'sure! awesome!. I will already tweet that we'll be having a buttahbenzo Ustream finally after a while and I will log in and see how we have to do it again. because I kinda forgot how to do it after this long time we haven't done it.' she said. 'I got back from chancing my clothes and doing my hair and I heard Ashley screaming 'And here's the wonderful Shannon Mitchell people! Get over here Shay! the fans want to see you too!' I got to the couch and sad down next to Ashely. 'Well hello there people! here I am! So let's answer some questions. Let me see. "Shay how are you and Ryan?" Well me and Ryan are good. we don't spend much time together because we are both really busy. but we're good.' Ashley was typing on my Phone and I got a message. It was from Ashley. "Shay, I can see in your face that you and Ryan aren't okay. tell me about it at lunch okay? and remember, se are buttahbenzo you can trust me!" I looked at her and smiled at her. she understood I would tell her. I read another question. "Ashley, 1D or Bieber?" 'mhh... let's think. The biebs! sorry 1D fans.'

*30 minutes later*

'Okay 1 more question because me and Shay are going to have lunch! I'm hungry.' Ashley laughs. I laugh too. 'you're Always hungry. But okay one more question. oeh, that's a good one. "How does kissing a girl differs from kissing a boy?" Well let me explain. To be honest I have no idea how it differs. If you kiss with a boy when you love him it also is different then when you kiss with a boy when you don't love him. that's why I can't say how kissing a girl differs from kissing a boy. because what Lindsey and I do is acting. we don't love each other that way. But if you want to know if it's weird all I can say is no. sometimes I even prefer it because girls Always smell good. But don't get me wrong. I'm not gay.' I saw Ashley looking at me with attention. I took over because I saw she was surprised. 'Okay guys! that was it! she you next time! byee! Ashley say bye.' Ashley was still totally impressed so she said softly bye. I closed of the computer and said 'So Ash where do you want to go for lunch?' she looked at me and said 'you've got alot to explain so let's just order in pizza and talk here because we will need the privacy.' 'uhm... okay' I answered. Ashley stood up and called the pizzeria and walked to the bathroom to get a little quiet. I heard her order a pizza with mushrooms and pesto. ashley yelled at me 'Shay what kinda pizza do you want?' I yelled back 'a pizza with pepperoni and salami!' I heard Ashley saying "okay, thanks bye." "Okay chill. you can trust her." I said o myself over and over again until Ashley walked in the room. she sat down next me and said: 'first give me a hug Shay.' I hugged her thight not for her. But because I needed a hug. I let go after about 30 seconds. she looked me in the eyes and said 'Shay I could see that it's not going good between you and Ryan. come on spill. I want to help you and you know that you can trust me. so tell me, what's wrong?' she said. It gave me a good feeling and it really gave me the feeling I could trust her so I started talking... Remember the first time when Lindsey came on set?' I asked her. 'Yes, the time when you had the scene when she had to kiss you, right?' she answered. 'Yes that scene. I had to do the scene 10 times over because everytime after she kissed me I couldn't remember my line. That's when the first time the idea came to my mind that I might be gay...' Tears builted up in my mind. I kept telling while the tears rolled down my face. 'But then she left set again and I thought everything would go back to normal. and then Friday happened. We had to kiss and hug in the scene and my feelings were back in a flash.' I cried and hugged her. Ashley tried to comfort me and hugged me and said: 'Everythings gonna be alright.' I cried in her arms.


	5. Chapter 5

*26/10/2012* It was 6.00 PM and I was ready to go to the cinema with Lindsey. I was really excited so I started to get ready early. It was 6.30 PM and my Phone rang. I saw on the screen that it was Lindsey. I answered the Phone. 'Hey Lindsey.' I said. 'Hey, uhmm... I was thinking maybe we can go 1 hour earlier to have something to eat? I'm starving. But if you aren't ready or don't want you just have to say!' She said quickly. she sounded nervous. 'Sure, let's do it!' I answered. I heard a sigh. After a while she answered. 'Okay I'll pick you up at 7, okay?' 'Sure!' I said calm but excited. I hung up and smiled. But then wondered. Why am I so excited? Wait.. Isn't Ryan coming home tonight? I checked my phone and searched for his text message. I couldn't find it. I walked to the kitchen to look at the calender. today is the 26th. *sigh* he's not coming home until the 28th. I sat on the couch and turned on the tv. I got a message from Ashley. _Turn on your TV Right now Shay! Go to ABC 8/7c and turn the volume loud! they keep repeating it this quarter so hurry! XOXO Ash _I turned on the tv and went to 8/7c. OMG! my mouth opened. I wanted to scream but nothing came out of my mouth. My phone beeped again. And again it was a message from Ashley. _SHAY DO NOT FREAK OUT! I know this is your first kissing scene on tv with a girl. But no one will ever think you are gay because of this! everyone knows that this is just acting. it's okay! XOXO Ash _I re-read it and decided to send her a message back._ But that's the problem! for me it wasn't just acting. I think I really love her. And what am I supposed to do with Ryan? He's coming home in 2 days and I can't look at him like my boyfriend anymore. I'm pretty sure he will ask me on a date. Can you come over when Ryan comes home please? I can't break up with him when I'm alone! I really need you. XOXO Shay. _I got a message back:_ 'Sure I'll be there! just tell me what time! XOXO Ash' _I sighed. With Ashley here I think I can break up with him. It's better for the both of us. I woke up out of my thoughts when I heard my phone make a sound. I looked at it. It was a message from Lindsey. 'Hey Shay, I'm leaving my house now and I'll be there in 5 minutes. hope you are ready. XOXO Lindsey' OMG she'll be here in 5 minutes. I checked my purse if I had everything. I felt in the pocket of my jeans and felt my phone so I was ready. The doorbell rang. I opened the door and was speachless. She looked stunning! Jawdropping. I looked at her from head to toe and back. She was wearing a thight top which made her boobs show really good. underneath she had a thight light colour jeans. With high supra sneakers. I saw she looked at me in exactly the same way. Finally I could say something but it was only: 'Wow, you look really super beautiful.' She blushed and said: 'Thank you, you look also really hot.' Now she made me blush. 'Let's go, or we'll have to miss the movie after dinner.' I said giggling. We both walked to Lindsey's car. she opened the door for me, I looked around and got into the car. She drove us to a dinner a few miles from LA. So we were sure no one would bother seeing us together. Lindsey got a hamburger with some French fries and I got a hotdog with French fries. It was nice to be with her in a dinner not worrying about anyone seeing us and have some old school junk food without being afraid a papparazi would see it. 'I'm so tired Lindsey. I don't really feel like going to the movies. Do you wanna come to my house and watch a movie there?' I asked her with my puppy eyes. I really want her to say yes. She looked at me. She looked directly in my eyes. 'If that's what you want babe. uhmmm... Shay.' She blushed again. I giggled and said 'you can call me babe if you want to Sexy' I smiled and winked at her. She hit me playfully and we went to her car. She drove to my house and I opened the door. It was silent inside but I liked it. 'Come into my little small palace' I said and smiled. We walked in and Lindsey said down on the couch. I gave her 5 movies too choose from. 'I get us something to drink and some popcorn. You can choose which movie. BRB.' I walked to the kitchen and put some popcorn in the microwave and got us 2 glasses and a bottle of Pepsi. I opened the bag of popcorn. Took a bole and put the popcorn in it. I took it to the living room and put it on the table. I looked at Lindsey. 'So? what movie will it be?' I asked her. She took the DVD and held it up so I could read the title 'You serious? Paranormal activity? Okay! It's creepy but together with someone I would watch it.' I said. I took the dvd and shoved it in the dvd player. I turned off the lights and used my phones flashlight to find the couch. I sat down next to Lindsey and the movie started. After 10 minutes the first scary thing happened and I burried my face in her shoulder. She laid her arm around me. I turned my face to the tv again andthen the next scsry thing happened but this time I burried my face between her boobs. I shocked and looked up to her face. She looked at me and smiled. I sat down straight next to her. She looked at me and I looked at her. she laid her hand on my cheeck and bended over. Just when she was 2 cm away from my face my Phone rang. She sat back down and I answered the Phone. It was Ashley. 'Can I call you back later Ash?' Sure she answered. I hung up the Phone. 'Sorry Lindsey. That was Ashley. I call her back later.' Lindsey answered: 'It's okay. I think I'm going home and sleep. I'll text you tommorrow.' 'Oh okay.' I said and walked her to the door. I hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheeck. She blushed waved and walked away. 


	6. Chapter 6

*28/10/2012*

I got on set. I looked around when suddenly I saw Troian. 'Troian!' I yelled. She looked around and than saw me. She walked up to me and hugged me. 'Shay! That has been a while. how are you?' 'I'm great.' I said with a double feeling. Luckily she didn't notice that. 'Good! Same here! We should really meet up soon!' 'Sure! We will!' I said. Than I heard Marlene scream: 'Troian, can you please get over here? It's your turn!' 'Coming!' Troian yelled. 'I gotta go, I'll text you soon. Bye!' She hugged me goodbye and ran to the set. I went to my dressing room. When I got there I layed down on the couch. I'll just take a quick nap. And slowly I fell asleep.

*2 hours later*

I woke up slowly. Sat straight and took my phone. 2 missed calls. 1 from my mom and 1 from Lindsey. My mom left a voicemail message but Lindsey didn't. I listened to my mom's voicemail message. It made me laugh.

**Hi honey, mom speaking. I don't know if you'll get this message because I have no idea how this works but anyway. I'm coming to LA next week. I will arrive 05/11/2012. I hope you will come and get me. I love you honey. bye! Btw I'll also text it because I don't know if you'll get this. bye honey!**

HAHA it made me laugh, it's funny how she can't handle electronics. Than a thought came into my mind. Ryan is coming home tonight. I unblocked my Phone. scrolled through my contacts and called Ashley.

_**Ashley speaking.**_

_**'Ashley, Shay here! Remember who's coming home tonight. Can you come over tonight when I can break up with him. I'll go now and pack my bags. Oh and can you help me find a motel.'**_

_**'Shay take it easy. Yes I'll be there at 8PM. And you can sleep at my house. Common girl. Let's get your life straight. See you later!'**_

_**'Later! Ohh, and Ash?'**_

_**'Yes Shay?'**_

_**'Thank you for being here for me.'**_

_**'Ofcourse! that's what friends are for! bye!'**_

Okay, so it's 4PM now. If I write a letter for Lindsey now. I can talk to Ryan easy and not flip out. I can be ready at 4.30 PM and then go home. And then at the entrance throw this in the mailbox. I have to find an envelope though. But first the letter.

Dear Lindsey,

I write this letter to you to tell you that I'm in love with you. It's really hard for me to tell you this. But I have to tell you or I'll be stressed out every second of everyday. You have been perfect to me since I met you. It only took me really long to figure it out. I know you don't feel the same way. But I can't help that I love you. I'm sorry. Please don't show this to your boyfriend. I also know you were confused when you almost kissed me. Well I think obviously. I'm sorry. But if I didn't tell you this I wouldn't be able to have a good scene. I hope you won't Judge.

XOXO Shay

As soon as I looked on my Phone what time it was I saw it was already 5PM. I have to go home quickly. I walked to Marlene and said: 'I'm going home now but do you have an envelope? I need one and don't have any.' 'Yes I got one in my office. Walk with me. Here you have one. do you also need a stamp?' She answered. I said: 'No thanks this'll do. I'll see you tomorrow. bye!' 'Bye!' She said. I went back to my dressing room. Wrote Lindsey Shaw on the envelope with a big black marker and putted the letter in it. Than I took my bag and walked to my car. As soon as I drove through the exit I saw the mailbox. I inserted the letter and drove off. When I came home it was already 5.30 PM. Ryan will be home in 3 hours. I quickly started to pack my bags and took my stuff.

*2.5 hours later*

"Ding, Dong" There was the bell. Please let it be Ashley, please let it be Ashley. I kept repeating in my head. I hold my breath and opened the door. When I saw a blonde smiling face I released the air which filled my lungs. 'I'm so happy it's you Ashley!' I said to Ashley. 'Come here lovely!' She said and pulled me in a hug. She let me go and said: 'Have you packed everything? Let's sit down and talk.' We both sat on the couch. I looked down and it was quiet for a few minutes. Than I started: 'I wrote a letter to Lindsey.' Ashley looked at me and then said: 'Well what are you waiting for? Let me read it!' 'That's not possible I think. I already posted it.' I said while blushing. 'Wait? What!? You posted it. where?' She said while looking at me with the biggest eyes I've ever seen. 'You know that little mailbox when you drive through the exit? That's where I threw it in.' I said. 'Omg, Shay, that means she already got it. Before I left home to come here I got a call from Troian. She hadn't spoken to me in a long time and just called me to have a quick chat. I heard Marlene on the background asking her to bring around the mail we got that day. So she hung up and said she had to go bring the mail around. Lindsey was still there because on the schedule it said she has a late night shoot. Anyways it's almost 8.30. Don't you think we have to talk about what you wanna say to Ryan when he arrives? Do you want me to wait in the car or stay with you?' she said. 'Just stay in the car. I just need someone afterwards it won't take long anyway. but just wait in here until he arrives please.' I said while sitting down on the couch nervously. Ashley looked out the window turned to me and said that's my que. goodluck, I see you in the car. Ashley walked to the car with my bags as Ryan came in. He looked confused to the bags Ashley was carrying and then at me. He looked at me and said: 'Shay, what's going on?' 'Ryan please listen good to me. I am not in love with you anymore and it doesn't seem fair towards you if I act like I'm still into you. To be honest I'm totally confused but this is one of the two things I'm totally sure of. You are a great guy and you deserve someone who sincerely loves you for who you are. And you will find that girl. I promise. But for now I'm going to live with Ashley and it would be fine if you can just hold back for a while. For you and me to have some time to think.' I took my purse. Walked towards him and hugged him. Then I walked to Ashley's car. I sat me next to Ashley and just stared straight ahead. Ashley looked at me and asked 'Are you OK?' I looked at her and said 'To be honest it wasn't even that hard. I don't even feel like crying right now. Is that weird?' Ashley looked at me and said: 'To be honest I have no idea.' Then we drove of.

*10 minutes later.*

It's now about 8.45. Ashley is in the shower. Than I heard my Phone beeping. Where the hell did I leave that thing? The sound came from the kitchen. I walked there and I saw my Phone laying on the kitchen table. I took it and saw it was a message from Lindsey. I was afraid to hear the truth and to see what the text says. I opened it and it only said: 'Let's talk, tomorrow 8.30 PM, the grill. I'll see you there. I felt sick of the nerves. And then Ashley said: 'What's going on?' I looked at her and said: 'She wants to talk.'

A/N

I'm sorry it took a long while but I have summer holiday now so I will write some more. Thanks for reading :)

xoxo PailyLoveJB


	7. Chapter 7

*29/10/2012*

I woke up. I sat up straight and looked around. Before I even thought about it the flashbacks of

last came back to my head. I took my Phone and saw I had a text. It was from Ryan. It said: _'I _

_respect your decision but I want you to know I still love you and I will be a friend if you need me _

_to be. Even though you already have a lot of friends. Bye 3 Ryan.'_ I kinda teared up but I

knew I made the right decision. Than I re-read Lindsey's text: 'Let's talk, tomorrow 8.30 PM, the

grill. I'll see you there.' I let myself fall back on my back on the bed and sighed. I noticed I was

afraid of what Lindsey was going to say. I knew I should've never written that letter. She's

gonna hate me, our scenes will be awkward and terrible and if it isn't already bad enough she

is going to think I actually like it. I do but that's nothing she needs to know and worry about. I

laughed but stopped when I heard someone say: 'What's so funny?' It was Ashley. 'Omg Ash,

you scared me!' 'I don't care.' she laughed. 'Tell me what's so funny.' I took my Phone and

showed her Lindsey's message. 'I still don't see what's so funny.' she looked at me. 'Okay I'll

explain.' I said. 'I'm afraid of what's she's going to say. She's probably going to think I like

kissing her in our scenes. The funny part is I do but she doesn't have to know that.' I laughed

and looked at Ashley's face. She didn't laughed. She looked at me like she was trying to read

my mind. Then she said down next to me and said. 'Shay, you love this woman with your whole

life. You shouldn't think like this. Like she would hate you. Just go for it! If she's full of hate

towards this she isn't even f**king human. If she isn't into you like that a normal person will just

tell you in a normal way and treat you normal. I know It's hard to see it that way. And to be

honest and I'm totally serious at this point I think she is into you. so everything will be alright.' I

looked at Ashley and hugged her. 'Thanks Ashley, and when I think about it. She has said a

couple of time babe to me and then when I looked at her she said uhm.. Shay I mean. And

then she started blushing.' 'See.' Ashley said. 'I'm going to take a shower and you have to go to

work. Keegan told me you have a scene with him remember? With Emily's best friend. Oh and

here take my car. I'll see you later' She said and throwed me the key of her car. I got up.

knocked on the bathroom door and said: 'Ash, I need to brush my teeth!' She gave me my

toothbrush and some toothpaste and said: 'Brush them in the kitchen sink.' And then closed the

door again. *Beep Beep* My Phone rang I looked and saw it was my mom.

**Mom?**

**Shay, Ryan called me that you guys broke up and that he wishes me the very best. what **

**happened? You know what I'm at the airport. I'm coming today already. When I'm at LAX **

**I'll take a taxi to your house. **

**No mom, if you are really coming get a taxi to Ashley's house. I have to go to **

**uhmm.. work. Ashley will be home. bye love you!**

before she could say anything else I hang up. I walked to the bathroom door and said: 'Ash, my

mom will probably come later and is coming to talk to me why me and Ryan broke up. You

seriously have to help me. I need to go to work now, so if she's coming hold her here.

You have also to help me to figure something out. I can't tell her I'm gay. HELP ME PLEASE.'

'Okay I'll help. Now go to work before you'll piss Marlene off.' She said.

'Okay okay I'm going already. Bye Ashley. Btw, thanks for helping me out with Ryan, Lindsey

and everything. Thanks for being my friend.' I said and walked away.

I heared Ashley scream: You're welcome and if I wasn't in the shower and getting shampoo in

my mouth I would hug you. Bye.'

*2 hour later*

I saw on the schedule that Lindsey isn't supposed to be here so I can chill

*knock knock*

'Come in.' I said. I looked it was marlene.

'Shay I heard about your break up. I'm sorry that you have to work today but we couldn't change the schedule.' she said looking worried.

'It's okay, it was the best thing today. and work may be a good distraction.' I said while pulling

of a smile.

'Okay, take care, and you are finished for the day. If you want you can go home.' she said.

'Thanks, I'll just be here for a few more hours and then go home.' I said.

'Oh okay, well Lindsey is coming to set in 2 hours so maybe you two can practice your scene for Tuesday. Bye.' she said.

What? Lindsey is coming. OMG. I have to go as in right now. I grabt my purse, my Phone and

the car key. When I was safe and sound in the car I figured I could go to santa monica. So I

won't see my mom earlier. I parked the car and walked to the beach. I sat down in the sand

and layed down. Just closing my eyes and trying to forget everything for a while. after a few

minutes I sat up straight. Than a few girls came up to me. 'OMG, Shay can we have a picture

with you please? and your autograph?' 'Yeah sure!' I said with a totally fake smile but they

didn't seem to notice.' I got up. Gave them my autograph and took a picture with them.

*3 hours later*

It's almost 7 PM. I will get something little to eat and than go home to get ready.

When I finally came home my mom said on the couch. Not alone. But with Ashley and Ryan.

I saw it and ran to my room. 'I can't handle this right now.' I said while running to my room.

I sat down on my bed. I heard Ashley say: 'Maybe you guys can better go. I'll talk to her.'

I heard a door go open and then close again. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I

opened my eyes again Ashley was on the doorstep. 'Sooo..' She said. I looked at her. 'I'm

sorry.' I said 'I didn't mean to scream. This is just the worse day ever. On set I was so bad. We

had to do the scene about 40 times and I'm not even kidding. And then in 1 hour I have to go

see Lindsey and hear my big time crush isn't into women and will never be.' 'Shay take it easy.

that last one is not even sure. I'll do your make-up and I'll make sure you will be super hot! she

could never resist you! Now come to the bathroom.' I followed Ashley. I sat down on the toilet

seat and she did my make-up by the time it was 8.15 I took my purse and got into the car. I

drove over to the grill. I sat down on the bar and ordered a coconut &amp; raspberry mojito.

Someone said down next to me and when I looked she said: 'hi.' It was Lindsey.


	8. Chapter 8

*29/10/2012*

Lindsey ordered a martini. When we both finished our drinks Lindsey said: 'Shall we go to my

house to talk there?' 'Sure.' I answered while still thinking if it was a good idea. But I still went.

Because I needed to talk to her. This couldn't go on like this. I really need to know what she

thought of it. She drove to her house and when we came in she said: 'Sit down if you'd like, I'll

get us something to drink.' She got 2 martini's. I got nervous. 'So what did you think of the

letter?' I asked. She answered: 'Wanna think what I know?' I looked at her and said: 'yes.' I

blushed. She put down her martini on the table. she looked at me. I looked down. she laid

her hand on my cheeck and kissed me. It was super intense. All those emotions going through

me. It was amazing. the most amazing kiss ever. She pulled back and looked at me. I could get

out one word and that was: 'Really?' She looked at me and said: 'haven't you noticed me

calling you babe?' she stopped and looked at me. I blushed and she knew enough. 'Shay

you're the most amazing girl I know. Not only because you are pretty but also because you're

so sweet. For everyone. and you don't give a shit about the haters.' I blushed again. looked at

her and asked: 'so does this mean you are my girlfriend?' she looked at me: 'Only if you

promise you won't tell anyone,' I thought about what she said. I looked at her. 'But Ashley sees

through me as if I'm a glass window. what if she finds out something is up? What do you want

me to say? My mom is in town to get me and Ryan back together what do I have to do?' I saw

Lindsey thinking. 'Listen.' She said. 'Just tell Ashley but make her promise she won't tell

anyone. About your mom and Ryan. If you can't figure out just call me okay? I'll help you

through everything. because I love you.' She kissed me again. she looked at me. 'What?' I

asked while I felt that I started to blush. 'I'm just wondering how this beautiful girl in front of me

can be my girlfriend.'She said. I blushed and answered: 'Well I have no idea but I just wonder

how you are even gay.' Lindsey kissed me again. I kissed her back. than looked at her alarm

clock and saw it was alreay 11.30 PM. If I wanted to tell Ashley what happened I really had to

go. I looked at Lindsey and said: 'I need to go. I can't leave Ashley alone with my mom all

evening.' I kissed her and said see you tomorrow at set girlfriend. and I winked at her. I got my

Phone and urse and went home. As soon as I came home I saw Ashley sitting on the couch

with my mom. 'Mom, you should really go to bed, it's late. I need to talk to Ashley about work

and you will think it's boring anyway. Let me walk you to your room.' when we were in her room

I hugged her and said: 'Goodnight mom, I love you.' I walked out the door and all I could hear

her say is: 'I love you back.' I went back to Ashley who looked at me confused and said: 'Talk

about work?' I looked at her and said: 'I had to come up with something to ship her of. Listen

something awesome happened.' I told Ashley the whole story from kissing to Lindsey now

being my girlfriend. At the end she looked at me with her mouth wide open and said: 'So

Lindsey is also gay and your girlfriend now?' 'Yep.' I answered with a big smile on my face.

1,5 year later

Me and Lindsey are still together in secret. Only Ashley knows about it. We are on set right

now and Marlene called us all together. I saw Lindsey and walked up to her. 'Do you have any

idea what is going on?' I asked. 'I have no idea.' She said. 'But I think Marlene is telling us

now.' and she is right because at that moment Marlene started speaking: 'Guys please listen

up. Everyone is doing an amazing job. But me and the writers have a surprise. We are going to

film a few episode in another continent. You heard people say 'WOW.' or 'where?' Or 'for how

long?' Marlene looked at everyone and waited for us to be quiet again. We will film a few

episodes in ...

**A/N**

**Sorry the chapter isn't long but I have been realy busy and had a writers block. I just wanted to finish it for you guys. I hope you guys will enjoy it even though it's that short. **

**xoxo PailyLoveJB**


	9. Chapter 9

*29/04/2014* Everyone is nervous because Marlene is telling us were we will film a few episodes. Marlene resumed 'Everyone ready? We will film some episodes in.. Berlin!' *30/04/2014* 'Lindsey! How is this possible? We are in Berlin!' I said. 'Guys, listen up!' Malrene said. 'Tomorrow we will start shooting. Everyone come and get your time table. On the time table it also says with who you are in one room. now go! I got a time table, when I saw the person with who I'm in a room I was super happy. Than I heard someone with a sexy voice whisper: 'let's go to our room.' When I turned around I saw Lindsey standing there with a big smile on her face. I smiled back at her. I looked around and saw that everyone was too busy with their own roommate to pay attention to us. I pulled Lindsey's arm and ran with her to our room. I pushed her on the bed and layed down next to her. she turned her head towards me. 'Why are you so perfect?' she asked. I kissed her. She kissed me back. 'Wait!' I said and jumped up. I took the do not disturb doorhanger and hung it up. *2 hours later* Lindsey was in the bathroom. I had to talk to Ashley! I had to tell her how amaing this was. I texted her where she was and when I sended the text I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and Ashley was there. I pushed her out and yelled: 'Lindsey, I am going to check out Berlin with Ashley. I'll see you tonight.' Ashley looked at me and said: 'So, how was it?' I looked at her and said: 'How was what?' I tried to look as innocent as possible. I don't think I pulled it of though. I can't lie to Ashley. But I tried. 'Common Shay, I see by looking at your face that you had sex with her. How was it? tell me!' she said while jumping up and down from happiness. I sighed and I felt that I turned red. 'Okay okay, I'll tell you. it was amazing. She was so sweet and soft. the way she kissed me. Really soft and gentle.' She looked at me and started smiling after a few seconds. I looked at her. 'What?' I said while blushing like a lobster. 'Spill it Shay! I want every juicy detail!' I was processing what she said and answered 'Uhmm.. No!' 'Ahh common Shay. Who told you every juicy detail when I first had sex with Ryan?' she said trying to beg. 'Not you.' I answered. 'Well okay, that's true.' she said. 'But everyone knows how having sex with a guy is like. I have no idea how to imagine sex between 2 girls.' I felt sorry for her. after all she's my best friend. I mean ButtahBenzo for life right? So I agreed telling her, but only in her hotel room. She shared a room with Lucy but Lucy was to the jewish museum with Troian. Lucy's nerdy side came out in Berlin. We arrived at Ashley's room. She opened it and said: 'Lucy, you here?' No one answered so she was sure we would be alone. We sat down on the bed and I started telling. 'She pulled me on the bed and asked why I was so perfect. I didn't know what to answer so I just kissed her. It was nothing special though. We kiss all the time. On and off screen. But than she kissed me again. This time it felt different. More sexual. I pulled her closer towards me and we fell down on the bed. She turned me on my back and kissed me. With my hand I felt through her beautiful long brown hair. And I placed my other hand on her perfectly round ass. She started kissing my neck. I let out a little moan. She started to open mu shirt halfway down she stopped. I asked her why. she said she didn't want to creep me out by going to fast the first time in bed. I told her she's my girlfriend for already 1.5 years and Iove her, I wanted to share this experience with her. So I took off my shirt. She took hers off as well. She looked so hot, you can't even imagine. I wanted to touch her. But she pushed me away, literally. I wondered why. But then I saw she took her bra off as well. I opened my mouth to say something but I didn't know what. She smiled and kissed me. I felt her boobs dangeling on mine. It made me want her. A lot! I touched her boob and rubbed her nipple with my thumb. she moaned softly. I wanted to hear it again but louder. So I used both my hands on her 2 boobs. She did what I wanted. She moaned way louder. So hard I was afraid someone would knock on our door, if we could be a little bit more quiet.' I felt I was blushing. 'Finally I turned her on her back and moved down. I started... uhmm you sure you want to hear it Ashley?' 'Yes Shay common please. I don't Judge.' she begged me with puppy eyes. I coudln't say no. 'Okay than. I started fingering her. she turned red. I felt her getting more wet everytime I moved my finger. she moaned and told me not to stop. As I went on I also started licking her clit. She moaned and said she was close. I went on faster and faster. Then suddenly she said OMG OMG OMG OMG. yeahhhhh... that was amazing Shay. She pulled me towards her and kissed me tasting her own juices. then she turned me on my back. taking of my bra. sucking my nipples was enough to make me moan loud. she kissed her way down my stomach and took of my pants and panties. she was ready for the hard work and stated licking circles round my clit and easily inserted her finger in me. when I was wet enough she added another finger. She fingered me really hard. she noticed that I got really wet really fast. She went on really really fast. and after 2 minutes of heavily breathing she made me cum. she continued just licking my clit. After 1 minute of her licking my clit she made me squirt. we both were stunned. I never had hat before. she looked at me and smiled. I pulled her up and kissed her so deep. To finish our sex perfectly we scissored. It felt amazing rubbing our pussy's 10 minutes we were moaning and moaning. then we both came. We kissed. I liked her pussy on more time to taste both of our juices and she liked mine one more time. when we were inished we both put on a bath robe and smoked a cigarette on the balcony.' Ashley kept looking at me with her mouth open. I said: 'Are you gonna look at me like that for the whole trip?' She shaked her head and hugged me. than she said: 'My girl had sex with her love. not so innocent after all. I love you Shay. You better go to your love. Lucy will be back soon. I'll see you tomorrow.' she kissed my cheeck. I stood up walked out the door and before I closed it I said: 'Don't tell anyone. bye' 


End file.
